Not Quite Sure What This Means

I'm willing to bet a psychologist would drool over the possibility of analyzing me. (Ironic enough, because I was once engaged to an embryo psychologist. Missed out on free analysis for life!) Why, you ask--innocently, unaware of the chaos you unleash. Because I do stuff like this:



"What?" you ask, "make a bed like a perfectly normal, rational homemaker who is concerned that someday the Relief Society President may make a surprise inspection to see if she is indeed the person who can be trusted with an important assignment, like Homemaking leader?" (Not that she would do this. She's a lovely person, not at all snoopy, and already knows what a nut case I am, since we served together in YW. But I digress.)


No! I tie-dye sheets, and in RED, mind you. I'm pretty sure there's a logical, Freudian reason for it. There's always a Freudian reason for everything. And then, just to complicate the psychological stew, I cover it all up with a pristinely WHITE bedspread (which I didn't show, because it's so boring). Is this, or is this not, a cry for attention!!! (Albeit smothered by my desire to appear normal and average.)

I could give you a plausible explanation for why my sheets are red and slightly retro, like a VW bus or a fringed vest. I could say that once they were lovely white sheets--my favorite set, in fact. That my children have a fondness for coloring and an aversion to cleaning up the tools of their endeavors. I could explain that the intersection of those two facts was sheets permanently marred by large red splotches. And I could add in that I hate to see something wasted when I can wreak creative havoc on it. BUT WOULD IT BE THE TRUTH?????


All you budding psychologists are buzzing with ideas, I'm sure. "this," you will opine, "is a classic case of _____________ [go ahead and fill in the latest mumbo], and is clearly caused by the subject's inability to accept the realities of her existence." (I can mumbo with the best of them. Thank you high school psychology, even if you were taught by a teacher whose name I can no longer remember.) Fine, you can think that if you wish.


Here's my take on it: I am BORED! Bored and cheap, and unable to get to the craft store. But my sweet husband did fall into the trap of taking my grocery shopping last week. And there I was able to buy a bottle of red dye. And why red? Because I like it! Because the splotches were red anyway, and I thought I'd take advantage of the opportunity it afforded to have some crazy sheets. Because I don't dare WEAR red tie-dye clothes--except for when I'm at Girls' Camp, but then, you should see the fabric I've set aside to make into pants for this year's adventure!!!--because I'm afraid the Relief Society President will betray my faith in her and check my closet to see if I really am the normal person I try so desperately to convince people I am. (And hopefully on that day the sheets will be safely in the linen closet, where no one would ever think to check. Because who does a thing like that?)


And I'm pretty sure I'm loony.