A jingle for my WC

(To the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey"/"On Top of Spaghetti", depending upon your generation or musical background)

I want a new bath--room,

not covered in pee,

with shiny clean fixtures,

and a shower for me.

I need a new bath--room;

this one is too small.

If I get much fatter,

I'll push out through the wall.

I've looked at new ti--le,

and pedestal sinks.

But am I the only,

for whom brown is the stinks?

I'm dreaming of whi--ite,

and azure tones, too.

But all of the ti--le,

looks like new baby poo.

Oh Angel of bath--rooms,

and mommies who scrub,

please rip up the flooring,

and blow up the tub.

I've got to re--mo--del,

and freshen the space.

Because if I don't

it may doom the whole race.

So if you like ti--ling,

and plumbing a line,

Give me a sweet phone call,

and my gratitude's thine.